


The Doctor's Dilemma.

by springburn



Series: Dr Who mini fics and prompts [16]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Denial, F/M, Fluff, Love, relationship, spinny hugs, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-26 07:22:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6229036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springburn/pseuds/springburn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara is hurt on a visit to a planet. The Doctor begins to realise a few things.</p><p>Story takes place between episodes somewhere in season nine, before Face the Raven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Doctor's Dilemma.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a great prompt from @lettersfromavonlea on tumblr. Thank you my dear.....
> 
> "Ok so I was thinking Clara being so tired from marking and the Doctor arrives and without thinking spins her around hugging her and kisses her for the first time because he's discovered some new planet or something and Clara's just like what the heck just happened but I'm awfully glad it did...."
> 
> Okay, so......a whouffaldi one shot. How do I feel about whouffaldi? Lord.....it's changed more times than a.....than a thing that changes a lot!  
> At first I was completely sold......Peter said, 'no Papa/Nicole moments' and I went with that......then I watched series eight....and I thought, they are in love! They so are doing it!  
> Then I watched Last Christmas......and I started writing whouffle stories and they had a full sexual relationship. 
> 
> Then series nine happened......and I kinda changed my mind a bit.
> 
> It's much deeper than physical love. Way, way deeper. Do I now think he had her bent over the console? No I don't. I could see Ten and Rose like that.....I could see Twelve and River like that.......but not Twelve and Clara. 
> 
> I have absolutely no doubt whatever that they are deeply in love. But it's more than that. It's not a conventional relationship. I think Ten was way more human than all the other Doctor's. Peter's Doctor is undeniably alien. Yes, he loves Clara, deeply, passionately.....hell he spent four and a half billion years bashing through a wall for her......but was the relationship a sexual one.....Peter says not Jenna says not......so I'm kinda going with them. 
> 
> I'll also add that the whole whouffaldi thing has been taken to such a level that it's no longer the harmless fun it used to be. So I've consciously backed right away from it.  
> As a character thing people like to insist it's canon. Well, I don't buy into that. Love comes in many forms, particularly when one party is an alien. It's not conventional. I've noticed that when Peter is constantly bombarded with whouffaldi questions, he shies away from them, either with something funny or avoiding altogether. It makes him uncomfortable. Because it's taken on a life he doesn't agree with. He never has.  
> I also find the fact that the relationship or rather the friendship between the two in real life has taken on a monstrous life of its own, a bit nauseating. It's not for me. 
> 
> So I've written this accordingly. 
> 
> It's not to say I won't write them sexually ever again.....hey.....it's AU.....I can write what I like.....but do I think it happened in the context of the show.....Probably not!

THE DOCTOR'S DILEMMA. 

 

It had been a strange progression. A gradual realisation.  
Now here they were, in the very situation he'd always been terrified of.

She, laying desperately ill. He standing over her inert form.

It had been a narrow squeak. A close shave. 

The plant, reminiscent of a triffid......that's what's she'd said, and she'd laughed at the similitude.  
Looking up at it as it towered over her. 

Read the book as a teenager.......John Wyndham, the parallel terrifyingly real. Strange lights in the sky, everyone waking the following day struck down with blindness. It had a profound effect on her she said.  
Horrific. 

Then, almost as she turned away, from the bell like flower had come a dart......sharp and barbed.  
She screamed and fell, clutching her neck. 

He knew now.......the plant sensed oestrogen, the female hormone, strong in her at that time.  
The Tardis database gave him the information........now.........after the event.......why hadn't he thought to check before they'd embarked on their little jaunt?  
A substance that was toxic to this particular flora......that prompted the attack, defending itself from an imagined biological onslaught.  


He was a fool, he was Doctor Idiot! 

Quite how he scooped her up and ran with her, he wasn't sure. Avoiding darts himself, all aimed at her.  
Not him.  
Shielding her with his own body. His coat punctured through in many places.  
Thank god they hadn't strayed far. 

Making it back in the nick of time.  
Before she'd been overcome by the poison, before it was too late......before she succumbed. 

Hadn't he warned her? Prior to their separation on the Drum Lake Base, she was becoming complacent.  
Heedless of her own mortality, throwing herself into adventure with reckless abandon. 

He had a duty of care......he told her. She'd smiled at him. Almost indulgently, not taking him seriously. 

But he was as much to blame as she on this occasion and he was angry with himself for placing her in danger. 

She groaned slightly. Shifting under the blanket that covered her. Opening her eyes.  
"Doctor?" She murmured.  
"Welcome back!" His smile was benign, kindly, but filled with suffering and regret.  
"How long?" She asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.  
"Two days." He replied, busying himself with random buttons and knobs, moving away from the monitor and coming back to her bedside.  
"The Old Girl has been taking care of you." He added, and unplugged a wire that was attached to her wrist.  
"I'm hazy!" She mused thoughtfully. "It was the plant....it attacked me!"  
"Yes. Although by rights I should have known. I was stupid. I didn't foresee it." He helped her to sit up, her fingers clutching at the sleeve of his holey jumper.  
"You can't predict everything! Don't beat yourself up, I'm fine." Her head felt woozy and she was nauseous. But she tried her best to make light of it.  
"It was close Clara." He said quietly. " I nearly lost you......again."  
Her hand on his arm gave a squeeze, and she hopped down from the bed, swaying a little on her feet.  
"Yeah, well, you didn't! I'm okay! Right as rain!" She made a valiant attempt at levity. 

oOo

Over the next day or two he found himself watching her carefully.  
There was no outward sign of any damage. She seemed perfectly fit and well.  
A little tired and weak perhaps, but otherwise quite chipper.

Did people still say chipper? Apparently they did. 

Yet he remained uneasy. 

Increasingly unsure of a feeling inside his chest.  
Centred over his twin hearts.  
The beat of them continued much as they always had, and yet there was an unspecified ache.  
A quickening, when she glanced up at him from the book she was reading, or smiled at him when he made an attempt at a feeble pun.  
It was in the twinkle of those expressive brown eyes, the dimples which appeared on her cheeks, the casual toss of her head as she turned suddenly to look at him. 

It did odd things to his vast and complicated brain. Things that scrambled his thoughts, and turned his cerebral cortex into pâté.  
A look like that from Clara and he found that his Adam's apple became a tennis ball, his palms sweaty, making him blush until his ears went red. Somehow his tongue cleaved to the roof of his mouth and he gasped for water like a dying man in search of a desert oasis. 

He wasn't sure if she'd noticed and was too polite to comment. Or if she was blissfully unaware of the effect she was having upon him.  
Of course he was attached to her, always had been. Of course he was. That was nothing new.

She was Clara. 

From the moment she hurled herself into his time stream.  
A strong bond was formed. 

The most natural thing in the world......that he should travel to the jaws of hell to try and find her dead boyfriend or that he should wipe away sixty two years of dream crab horror then ask her to run away with him.  
Utterly and completely normal that he should hold the entire population of Skaro to account for the potential loss of her life, and not think twice about killing every Dalek on the planet, laying waste an entire city.  
Not at all unusual that he should put himself into stasis for one hundred years, and flood an entire area purely to save her. 

Nope, nothing to see here. 

She asked him to drop her off.  
Back to Coal Hill school, moments after he'd collected her........in the stationary cupboard.  
English with year nine......an exam to prepare.......books to mark. 

If he was honest, he was disappointed. Having her around whilst she recovered had been comforting, he'd gotten used to it.  
They ate breakfast together. Laughed. Talked. Were at ease. 

He watched her walk away down the corridor. The swing of her hips, the flick of her hair.  
The moment she turned back and gave him a little wave.  
Ye Gods!

He sniffed, dabbed at his eyes, blew his nose loudly on a large white cotton handkerchief square.  
Must be hay fever........did he suffer from hay fever? Clearly he did! Earth pollen! 

Closed the door of the Tardis, and whirled her into the void. 

Until next Wednesday. 

oOo

There were times when he threw that lever and travelled straight into next week.  
Emerging seconds after he'd last seen her. A whole week for her. Less than two minutes for him. 

He didn't know why he did it.  
There were times when he watched her leave and knew that he couldn't possibly wait seven days to see those eyes again.  
So he would say goodbye, and move straight on to the following Wednesday. 

Had she noticed? She'd made comments once or twice about him wearing the same outfit as last time......wondering if he ever did any laundry!  
He must be more careful. 

There were also times when things went wrong. When he was scared for her, when he was deeply ashamed of the way he felt. 

What did he feel? It wasn't quantifiable. It was just painful.

During those darkest of moments he would wait months until he saw her again.  
Travelling alone. Many times he'd thought never to return for her. His predecessors had done it many times. Dropped them off and never went back.  
He couldn't do it.  
Clara Oswald was his addiction. 

His fix. 

His high...... 

His life.

Torturing himself.  
And torture it was. A vision of her face tormenting him.  
The Tardis knew him of old. The black dog of depression. Forever hounding him. 

Eventually he could stand it no longer.  
Wednesday had to come.  
There she would be, a smile, a toss of the head, a bounce in her step as she walked.  
Just a week for her. Sometimes as long as a month, even two or more, for him. 

And he would be desperate. 

The ache inside him almost unbearable.  
It would be balm to his soul just to be in her company again. Standing side by side, she with the lever in her hand, excited, poised to fling them both into a new adventure. 

If she noticed he was quieter at these times, more subdued, she kept it to herself. But she would be gentle with him, attentive.  
Once she'd put her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tight.  
"You okay? Daft old man!" She whispered.  
Every nerve, every synapse ignited at that touch.  
How had he managed to hide it from her?  
He wasn't sure he had. 

oOo

He was wandering through fields, peppered with blue cornflowers, red poppies, or the equivalent of........the warmth of twin suns on his back.  
All he could think about was, "Clara would love this!"  
Reaching the top of the rise, he looked down onto a vista of such breathtaking beauty, it made him gasp with wonderment. He'd seen a planet or three in his time......but this.......!  
A rocky shore and a sea of pale green, which moved restlessly and shimmered in the afternoon light.  
The sky was hazy and golden, strange birds called to each other as they went to roost. Parrot like, iridescent feathers catching the dying rays.  
"Oh Clara! Clara! Clara!" He murmured to himself. 

It hit him all in an instant.  
He needed to see her, to share this with her. He needed to be with her.  
Now!  
He turned and ran. Stumbling and slipping through the emerald grass, disturbing winged insects as he sprinted as fast as his legs would carry him.  
Reaching the Tardis, wrenching open the doors. Frantically pressing buttons, slamming the lever home.  
Materialising moments later in Clara's living room. 

Her head raised wearily from her marking, as she heard the familiar sound, a knowing smile creeping across her face.  
She stood to greet him.  
"Doctor! It's not Wedn........" She began. 

The air was knocked from her with the speed of his onslaught, caught up in his arms, lifted off her feet as if she were a young child.  
He spun her round and round, holding her very tight, his cheek pressed against her own.  
Was that wetness there? Had he been crying?  
There was laughter in his eyes.......and yet.....  
"Oh Clara! Clara! Clara!" He was saying. An incantation. A joyous mantra.  
"Doctor! What.........?" She breathed, still winded by the suddenness and ferocity of his embrace.  
Before she could utter another word his lips were crashing onto hers.  
She let out a muffled cry of indignation, then a whimper of acceptance as she sunk into him.  
Returning his kiss with interest, their mouths slammed together, a duel of tongues and teeth and needy moans. 

It was several minutes before they parted. 

"Clara! I..........I........Oh Clara!" He set her down on her feet, his body still crowding hers, bending over her, bearing down upon her.  
"Doctor? What is it? Has something happened?" She asked softly, her hand coming to touch his cheek gently, the thumb brushing away a tear. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. Her lips were almost bruised with the severity of his desire, but she hardly seemed to notice.  
"Yes!" He breathed, through clenched teeth. "Yes! Something's happened."  
She pulled back slightly, regarding him critically, searching his face for clues.  
"Tell me Doctor. What have you done?" She said urgently.  
"I've realised something. Today, when I was on a wonderful planet......and I thought of you! That you'd love to see it. That I must share it with you......." His voice was ragged, almost broken, thick with suppressed longing.  
"And?" She enquired, cocking her head to the side slightly, as she waited patiently for the impending revelation, the great confession she was sure was coming.  
"I knew! I was certain! And I had to come! Clara Oswald.......I love you! I love you desperately, wholly and completely. I do!" He pulled back to see the effect of his words. 

There was a single tear balanced on her eyelashes, which, as he watched, spilled over and coursed down her cheek. Her mouth twitched slightly, and she went up on tip toes, pulling his head down towards her firmly.  
Her lips fastened on his and she kissed him thoroughly. Deep and passionate and long.  
Moving back when she finally ran out of breath, she gazed at him adoringly.  
"I love you too, you daft old man! I always have!"  
He looked taken aback, eyebrows raised in mute question. She elaborated......  
"But when you said, 'I'm not your boyfriend', I thought that maybe the new you felt differently. I accepted that."  
"Clara......I'm sorry.......I didn't........" He began, but she halted him with a finger on his lips.  
"Hush! Let me finish! It's been a while now......that I thought you'd changed your mind. All those times you came straight back after saying goodbye! Yes......I did notice! I'm not stupid you know!" She grinned as his eyebrows disappeared practically into his hairline with self righteous indignation.  
"Then I know you'd go off for ages......and not come back......."  
"But how......?" He huffed.  
"Doctor......your hair grows, for a start.......not to mention just checking the Tardis data banks, I can see where you've been, and how long you've been away......I've just been waiting for you to realise! For it to dawn on you!"  
"Busted!" He sighed and admitted defeat.  
"I do love you though.......truly!" He added.  
"And I love you.........and now that's established.........are you going to take me to this wonderful planet.......or not?" 

He gave a dazzling smile, and held out his hand for her to take.......

"It would be my pleasure, My Clara!" 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the prompt @lettersfromavonlea I'll be working on the other one soon.


End file.
